Polarities and Integration: Overview
By Shea Stevens
What Is a Polarity?
To define the gestalt concept of a polarity, it’s helpful to compare the difference between dichotomy and polarity: Dichotomy is when two concepts are viewed as a split; they are considered unrelated or unable to coexist. The gestalt concept of a polarity is taking two different, often opposite concepts and accepting that they can “complement or explicate each other” (all quotes in this post come from Gary Yontef, cited below).
“The concept of polarities treats opposites as part of one whole, as yin and yang” (Yontef). “Dichotomous thinking tends to be intolerant of diversity among persons and of paradoxical truths about a single person,” whereas polarities can coexist with each other as parts of a whole (Yontef). This is deeply tied to the concept of holism, which I explore more in depth here.
The list of polarities is endless. Some examples include: attached/detached, secure/insecure, self/external, infantile/mature, biological/cultural, unconscious/conscious. Perhaps one of the most important and common polarities relevant in the field of therapy is body/mind. The tendency to split these rather than see them as interconnected parts of a whole is a common problem, and this is something I touch on in my post about holism.
Tending Toward Extremes
We have a human tendency to swing to one extreme of a polarity or the other, rather than striking some kind of balance between them. There are situations when being at one extreme is appropriate for meeting your needs. But situations change, and change calls for adaptation. To have balance or nuance takes mindful awareness; practice; effort.
When the polarity involves contact and boundaries, as illustrated in the chart over in this post, the polarity is a spectrum we can travel across and integrate, but some people get stuck in either/or mindset. Examples of boundary-related polarities are: walls up/walls down, attachment/detachment, expression/holding in.
Integration often requires flexibility; traveling from one side of the polarity to the other depending on what is called for in different situations.
Seeing things as either/or often leads to dysfunction. ‘You vs me’, ‘right vs wrong’.... People who are unable to hold nuance or who see things as a zero-sum competition can be harmful, intolerant, and unable to have true insight into others’ experiences. Even well-intended and self-aware people can find it a real challenge to meet their own needs and also tend to someone else’s. Everyone runs into this tension in human relationships. But there is hope for resolution when both people want to work toward reciprocity and mutuality. The struggle to resolve tension within polarities is ever-present in human relationships and human development. Peter Mortola wrote about how it connects to the latter in an article cited below.
Integration and Assimilation:
Integration means recognizing and allowing the coexistence of all the authentic “parts” of you, even ones that are harder to accept. It means making peace with the polarity instead of seeing different parts of you as dichotomous. Integration also entails “assimilation,” which was a central idea in the founding of gestalt therapy that means consciously taking in something from your environment if it is nourishing or supportive, in digestible pieces. (Digestible as opposed to something that is swallowed whole, without questioning it or “chewing on it”.) Taking in meaningful or important ideas and releasing the ideas that are not truly “me” or are harmful to my functioning.
It is both necessary to accept what feels deeply true and release whatever is toxic or foreign to my authentic self. If things have been swallowed that are actually harmful or inauthentic, it will lead to adverse mental/emotional/physical effects. An image that illustrates the idea of integration is a well-regulated organism that is regularly assimilating that which is supportive to it and regularly releasing the waste.
It can be a highly nuanced and personal process to explore and reclaim the various paradoxical parts of you, to make peace with the ones that are hard to accept or understand, and also to release the things that are not actually authentic. There are no shortcuts and no manual, it is really up to the individual to find their own answers.
References:
Awareness, Dialogue, and Process. written by Gary Yontef. Chapter 5: “Gestalt Therapy.” pg 147-148,152
Sharing Disequilibrium: A Link Between Gestalt Therapy Theory and Child Development Theory. written by Peter Mortola. Gestalt Review, 5(1): 45-56. 2001.